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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

LND; Mom's Severed Hand & Hostages at the Jail

I was outside in a vast field bordered in the distance on one side by shrubs. There were some low buildings & a couple of tall trees nearby. I had to get together with Mom. People warned me that her wrist was severely damaged. My Aunt told me her hand was held on by a single ribbon. In my mind I could see it; a wide, flat tendon linking her severed hand to her wrist. Soon I met up with her & I wouldn’t look at it. Fortunately she was wearing long sleeves, too, so I wasn’t likely to accidentally see it, either. Others joined in our conversation. A moderate wind picked up. I watched it sway the two nearby trees as the other people I was with continued speaking. I watched the trees fall, realizing that we weren’t going to be hit by them, at least. I knew they must have been too shallowly rooted to be blown down by the wind. Now there were no trees as far as the eye could see. It was very sad. Later I went to work as a security guard at some kind of legal building (like a local jail.) I was in a large room in the top floor of the building. It was mostly open, with lots of people sitting around in chairs, waiting. 3 young women were showing serious bad attitude, but they weren’t my responsibility. Unfortunately one drunken black woman was getting obnoxious & loud. I tried to reason with her calmly, explaining that I was only trying to help her, but she wouldn’t listen. It wasn’t my job to take her down (to the floor,) however, so soon others with more authority came & took her away. Then a short, thin, young man came in wielding a machine gun. He insisted that everyone go out onto the roof. Most people had to go out the door closest to the man, but 2 or 3 guys & I went out a different door on our side of the room. It was nighttime. Not far from the jail I saw a large, Victorian-style home with a carefully landscaped exterior & cars parked throughout the circular driveway. It was some kind of catering hall, & they were open. Realizing that we weren’t really being monitored by the gunman, I snuck back inside & called the neighboring business. I explained our predicament & they sent the police, who rescued us all & took the gunman away. I went down to street level & outside. Now it was daytime. Different shapes had formed in the sidewalk around the building. I help a guy pull them up. We were happy & laughed much.

Mom was suicidal almost constantly since my father's death in the late '70s (although her main mode of choice was pills, rather than knives.) Although the hospital labeled her demise a few years back due to pneumonia, I strongly suspect that one of her many overdoses finally worked. Ultimately her pain is over, which is the important part.
The fallen trees are probably a reflection of my regrets at the loss of America's longleaf pines, particularly since another half-acre was recently felled so close to our house.
I actually worked as a security guard for roughly 14 years (& would never do it again.) I would never have agreed to work at a jail, for sure. Contract security has to be the most thankless & lowest paying job there is, but there are benefits for those who can keep themselves entertained.
I usually consider a "black" man or woman as representing the Jungian "shadow" in myself.
This dream is another rare instance of me in the role of the hero. It's not overtly recognized in this instance, but it's reward enough to have foiled the gunman.

This picture of a hyacinth macaw is from our visit to Global Wildlife Center the other day.


Miladysa said...

When I was reading the dream I wondered if any of the images/symbols/scenes etc. ever follow you into you waking life and art?

I was sorry to read about your mother [hug]

Michelle's Spell said...

Absolutely beautiful picture of the bird -- very haunting. Love the description of this dream and very sad about your mother -- sometimes the release from pain is the best we can hope for, but it's hard to live that way.

Charles Gramlich said...

Just gives her a good snuggle.

Lana Gramlich said...

Note about mom; I'm not sad about mom's passing (nor her suicidal tendencies.) If anything I'm largely relieved that it's all over. She wasn't a nice person, nor was she my "real" mom. During one of her suicide attempts she actually tried to take my brother & I with her (flipping the car off the Northern State Pkwy at high speed,) so there's really no love lost there.
I appreciate everyone's kind consideration, however. Y'all rock.

Miladysa; I sometimes paint from dreams (usually abstracts.) Sometimes certain dreams do seem to come true, too, yes. More on that in another post, though...

Michelle; Thanks for the kind words about the picture. I was sad for the bird--he just kept looking outside. <:(

Charles; You're a sweetie pie.

Travis said...

I'm glad you survived to what appears to be a satisfying adulthood.

Lana Gramlich said...

Travis; Me, too. There were many years back in the late 80's & early 90's where things weren't looking too certain where that's concerned.

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