Needs Meme

I pinched this meme from Travis' blog because I don't mind a simple meme now & again. I don't tag anymore, however. If you want to do it, it's up to you.

The Rules; Google your first name with the word "needs" after it and post the results. Don't forget to tag (only if that's your thing!)

Google says Lana needs 3,050 things. Unfortunately most of them have to do with the character on Smallville, but it makes for some interesting entries, anyway;
Lana needs...to stop!
Lana needs...to go.
Lana needs...another hole in her hand!
Lana needs...hip replacement surgery. (This Lana is an Australian Shepherd dog, fyi.)
Lana needs...to leave Lex and be with Clark.
Lana needs...to be on Smallville.
Lana needs...to come podding with me again (oh the joys of podding to michael jackson!) (I SWEAR I've never "podded," & if I did, it would've been to FLOYD!)
Lana needs...TO DIE!!!!!
Lana needs...1950 calories each day. (YES! Bring on the ice cream!)
Lana needs...some kissin' and huggin'. (Much better than "TO DIE!!!!!")
Lana needs...to go on the Big Gay Creek. (I don't even WANT to know...)
Lana needs...a life-saving operation. (What happened to the simple hip replacement surgery?)
Lana needs...to grow up, and stop being so naive.
Lana needs...to come up with a way to ensure that Darlene does not try to sell them a drink. (That evil, NASTY Darlene!)
Lana needs...a miscarrage. (Damn! We've come a long way from hip replacement surgery!)
Lana needs...a little reality check.
Lana needs...a baby. (Um, no...She's quite happy with houseplants, thanks!)
Lana needs...a home where someone is around most of the time. (Another dog one.)
Lana needs...to go away FOREVER. (Still better than "TO DIE!!!!!")
Lana needs...to acknowledge her own existing moral issues. (Bite my shiny, metal @$$!)
Lana needs...a makeover!
Lana needs...a metaphorical slap in the face.
Lana needs...a secure fence if left by herself long, but OK with a companion. (Just ask Charles.)
Lana needs...to go back to China or something.
Lana needs...to eat something--a tad anorexic here. (1950 calories a day isn't ENOUGH?)
Lana needs...a big serving of STFU.
Lana needs...to get laid by a man. (Check!)
Lana needs...someone who has time to love her and to teach her how to be a good dog. (Are THAT many dogs named "Lana," really???)
Lana needs...some reassurance from Kirk Douglas.
Lana needs...to meet Weng-Weng, the Impossible Kid.
Lana needs...a machine to do her thinking. (Niiiiiiice computer, yes...We loveses the precious!)
Lana needs...to GFTO and stay out.
Lana needs...to be beaten to death with a shoe.
Lana needs...a bigger cup size. (Um, no...BELIEVE me she doesn't.)
Lana needs...a holiday. (Wow, I DO have a friend in the world!)
Lana needs...to grow up and realize the world and everyone else does not revolve around her vapid head. (I rescind my last comment.)