I've spent some time talking things over with loved ones & thinking about what's been affecting me for a while now. There are a few things at work, some worse than others, but the biggest, baddest problem in the basket (which ties a bunch of the other things together,) is my left shoulder.
My regular readers are aware of pain I've had for about 3 years now. I've posted before about how my "doctor" (& I use that term very loosely,) had diagnosed me with bursitis (without any examination or investigation,) & said he wouldn't do anything until the pain became unbearable. I was already at that point, of course. I don't run to doctors for every, little thing. I only see them when I really need to.
Unfortunately my "doctor" didn't see patients, he saw dollar signs. The faster he got people in & out, the more the register went cha-CHING! Even the receptionist who set up my first appointment inadvertantly tipped me off, assuring me (or perhaps she trying to convince me,) that I'd like him; "He really listens & cares." If that were true, why did she feel some need to bring it up? Wouldn't I realize it through the level of care I received? I should have run when she waved the red flag in my face. I won't make that mistake again.
In untreated, fairly constant pain, I had to make huge adjustments to my life. I could no longer lie comfortably when I slept, resulting in only 2 full nights of sleep in 3 years (making me irritable & increasing my stress, to say the least.) I was forced to give up drumming (which had been a great way to relieve stress.) Although I'm a "lefty," I had to stop using that arm (for the most part,) & learn how to live as a "righty." There's only so much you can do with only one arm, unfortunately. The pain caused problems with getting dressed, brushing my hair/teeth, showering, physical tasks at work & even steering my car. I've lost a lot of strength in that arm due to non-use & in having to readjust movements around it, I started putting too much strain on my elbow & my right shoulder & arm. Even painting often caused me physical pain. Exercise has certainly not been possible & my body, overall, has started to suffer too much for that.
So I finally made an appointment to see yet another doctor. Ever the cynic (& not having much luck with doctors so far,) I must admit that I wasn't terribly hopeful about the process. I'm pleased to report that I seem to have finally found a good doctor. She listened, asked questions & suggested that it might not be bursitis after all, but rather a labral tear. She's written prescriptions to help with the pain & inflammation & she's set up tests required to determine the cause of the problem. If it turns out to be bursitis, after all, she's prepared to treat that, as well. Perhaps the most reassuring was her simple statement when I was getting ready to leave; "Don't worry, girl. We'll take care of this!" This time I honestly believe it.
Even hope, alone, can make a person feel a whole lot better.